Anniversary #8

Nine years ago my Husband and I met at a mutual friend's birthday party - he charmed me with his knowledge of furniture and design. We realized that we had attended the same institute of technology (during the same years), and that we had some family friends in common. In the beginning sometimes the simple things are enough of a connection.

Eight years ago we were married on a tropical beach....

Four years ago our little Ava decided to make her way into this world as I was enjoying my dessert at our baby shower. Six hours later I was watching her sleep in her little incubator. (She was 6 weeks early.) We spent two weeks at a wonderful hospital and then Ava was home.

Surrounding the birth of Ava there were five deaths - a parent, an uncle, two family friends, and our sweet dog. It was a happy and sad time, and stressful emotionally.

Three years ago we separated and lived apart because of unhappiness...a feeling of discontentment that wouldn't lift. Our little Ava was 1 so we didn't need to explain anything. She saw her Daddy regularly and was a happy baby.

One year ago we reconciled. Two years of personal reflection and time to ourselves helped to begin a new relationship. This one is based on more than furniture. We are together because we really want to be. We respect each other as parents, we laugh together (we never did before), and both of us are lighter than we have ever been.

Marriage needs to be nurtured too.  Feed it with honesty and reliability. Bathe it with trust. Read to it nightly sharing deep thoughts , desires, and dreams. If it gets stinky then change patterns. Perhaps taking care of our relationships [as much as we do our children] will strengthen our connections. Above all don't take anything personally. Sometimes things work themselves out when we let go of the control. Everything looks brighter after it has time to settle.

This weekend it's our 8th wedding anniversary...Year #7 was a quiet and loving year. I'm looking forward to experiencing what #8 brings.


  1. Happy Anniversary! I truly believe that nurturing our relationships is just as hard as nurturing our children. I find I am constantly reeling myself in and taking time for my Man as much as my children. Love your marriage nurturing formula. So true.

  2. Interesting marriage journey. I'm glad that you guys found your way back to each other again. I agree that marriage does need to be nurtured. This is not something my husband and I do enough of.

  3. We just need to add "nurturing the relationship" to our massive "To Do" lists. We put the effort in as we can....


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