The sounds of my world at 5:00am....

Elephant footsteps...neighbour is up for work.

Madelaine's cries because of said neighbour.

Ava stirring in bed...I hold my breath as she settles.

My hazy thoughts...and realization that there's no way Maddie's going back to sleep. (She hasn't for weeks but every morning I'm ridiculously hopeful.)

Make the decision to switch around the bedrooms. Start space planning in my head as I fumble through the darkness to her crib. Mid cry she happily yells, "Mama!" "Shhhhhh."

Silent cartoons...can't chance putting the sound on or Ava will want to get up.

The quiet whistle of the kettle...soft crackling as the hot water fills my teacup. Mesmerized by the swirling liquid as I mix in the milk and sugar. Around and around...oh I just want to go lay down.

Hear the happy words of a toddler who is quite content - I would be too if I went to bed the night before just after dinnertime...but I didn't.

Say a mental "Thanks" as 7:30am rolls around...I made it. Oh wait, now I have to make breakfast, and make Ava's lunch, and get myself ready, and get Ava out the door, and walk to school, and stop for groceries, and keep the toddler happy in the stroller, and make it to I can get to nap time.

Miss the old days when Maddie would wake at 6:30am and cuddle in our bed with me until 7:30am. Need to get back to there.

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